Today, in a heartfelt, rambling, freeform post on his personal blog, the 27-year-old actor reveals that he has dealt with a long-term battle with addiction.
He states in his post that the shocking death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman from an apparent drug overdose prompted him to open up.
Opening up: Shawn Pyfrom, who played an addict in Desperate Housewives, revealed Sunday that he has struggled with addiction
'i just read the news about mr. philip seymour hoffman, and against the advise of others; i had to write this open letter. i can’t stay quiet anymore about this… i am an
alcoholic and a drug addict (sic),' the actor wrote.
In season one of the award-winning dramedy Desperate Housewives, his character, who happened to be gay, was punished by his mother, Bree Van de Kamp - played by Marcia Cross - for smoking marijuana.
The character's problems grew more serious when he got behind the wheel of a car drunk and hit a neighbour's mother, putting her in a coma. That character, Juanita Solis, eventually died.
Later that season he was expelled from school for drug use and sent to a juvenile boot camp.
TV family: Shawn played Andrew, the son of Bree Van de Kamp, played by Marcia Cross on the hit ABC dramedy
Andrew cleaned up his act by the final season of the series, marrying his boyfriend and running his mother's catering company.
In his post, Shawn reveals that he has just celebrated five months of sobriety.
'i even question whether or not i should publish this, as i type out these words (sic),' he wrote.
'but if these words can encourage someone to hold on to their life… to keep from ever using, or to find the strength to stop; then it’s more important that these words are shared (sic).'
Famous friends: The actor posed with Hilary Duff at the Just Jared Halloween party last year
After lamenting the loss of Hoffman and his talent, Shawn continues, while being careful not to pass judgment.
'whether you are the occasional user, or someone that uses every day. every moment spent using drugs (alcohol included) is a moment stolen from your life. a memory you will only recall with vague reflection – through fogged glass.
'leaving an imprint in your memory, like a stamp without it’s ink. that is, of course, my own realization (sic).'
He also writes about how creativity and addiction often seem to be intertwined.
Friends off-screen: The actor attended an event in 2006 with his co-star Cody Kasch
'even i could say, for myself, that if it weren’t for the struggles and experience of my addictions; i would not have created the things that i have.
'i can argue that with all certainty, in fact. but i would have much rather lived the moments that i lost; and seen what would have come, creatively, as a result of that. that is one thing that is undebatable (sic).'
In the most revealing passage of the piece, Shawn reveals how deep his struggles were.
'for several years, i lived for drugs. i lived for other things as well. but drugs dictated the other things i lived for. i thought more about using, than i thought about any other “pleasures”. i put myself in places i never would have ended up, otherwise, for the sake of getting high.
Lost time: The 27-year-old expressed regret for his past actions and wrote that he is five months sober
'there are countless nights of blacking out, and making poor decisions as a result of my overusing. i wasted the time of valuable people, who worked so hard to pull my career to a higher place, by allowing my addictions to tug me out of their grip.
'i worried the people that care about me. my friends. my parents. my siblings. all for the sake of something that i believed i had control over.
'i didn’t even realize how low drugs and alcohol had pulled me. but i stand now from a higher place. not higher than anyone else, or anyone that is using. just a higher place, than i was before.
'my thoughts are clear. my body is energized. and the creativity now flows out of me, easier than it ever had when i was using. i wake up looking forward to my days, rather than looking for a way to get through them. i feel the life inside of me now. the life that i deprived myself of for so long (sic).'
High-profile co-stars: Eva Longoria played a neighbor of Andrew Van de Kamp on Wisteria Lane
He states that he believes he's conquered his addictions.
'i am an addict. and i’ve never been more proud, saying it. because when i think about where i’ve been, and where i am now…
'i am proud of the man who has addressed and admitted to himself, what was once a clouded denial. self-pride and love are two things i’ve never had for myself, until recently.
'i hold them closely, now, by my own humbled awareness. and i wouldn’t trade that in for any pill, line, or drink – on any day. i could go on, but i’ll leave it here, for now…(sic)'
Finally, Shawn reaches out to any reader who many be dealing with similar issues.
'if you’re reading this letter, i hope it comes to you with only encouragement. i hope it provides you strength, in the way that i’ve intended it.
Real life: Shawn is pictured shopping with a friend in the SoHo neighborhood of New York in 2012
'whether
you are currently battling an addiction, or have never even sipped a
drink. i hope it gives you strength to consider the potential it has to
take everything, that is dear, from you. you may be one of the lucky
ones that leaves unscathed from it all. with all sincerity; good for
you. 'but i leave it to you to decide if it’s worth risking; finding yourself on the unfortunate end of things. just know that either way, i’m pulling for you. with only love…
'i hope you can save your life.
love.
shawn (sic).'
The actor's IMDB page lists just two projects since Desperate Housewives.
He guest-starred on an episode of the TNT series Rizzoli and Isles in 2012 and had a role in the TV movie Killing Lincoln last year.
He worked on several projects during the eight-year run of his breakthrough series, which concluded in 2012.
DM
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