This
is the first of a two-part world exclusive interview with Barbara
Winfrey, the ex-wife of Oprah's father Vernon. In Part 2, to be
published tomorrow, Mrs. Winfrey will reveal the shocking details of the
big blowup between Oprah and her boyfriend Stedman Graham, the truth
about her relationship with Gayle King and how she really feels about being in her own skin.
Barbara Winfrey can pinpoint exactly when her divorce turned more ugly than she had ever thought possible.
Barbara Winfrey can pinpoint exactly when her divorce turned more ugly than she had ever thought possible.
It
was Friday 2 November 2012, her sixty-fourth birthday, and the day she
received the telephone call that turned the implosion of her marriage
into an 18-month legal battle with one of the most powerful celebrities
on the planet – her stepdaughter, Oprah Winfrey.
Barbara listened as Oprah delivered her thunderous ultimatum: ‘You say I never talk to you?
I want to talk to you now. You have until Monday to get out of MY house.’
I want to talk to you now. You have until Monday to get out of MY house.’
Earlier
this month Barbara was finally served with an eviction notice. She has
until 29 May to vacate the $1.4million house just south of Nashville
that was home throughout her 14-year union to Oprah’s father, Vernon
Winfrey.
Member of the wedding: Oprah didn't exactly
embrace Barbara Winfrey when she became part of the family. But she
certainly made a show of it in front of the camera, as she was wont to
do, says Barbara in a world exclusive interview. Barbara married Oprah's
father Vernon Winfrey in Nashville on June 17, 2000 and Oprah and
Stedman Graham were front and center
Sad farewell: Barbara Winfrey has been evicted
from the marital home in Franklin, Tennessee, she shared with Vernon for
over a dozen years. When Oprah called Barbara on her birthday, Oprah
told her 'You have until Monday to get out of MY house'
Now,
Barbara is breaking her silence and speaking publicly for the first
time about her devastation at what she regards as Oprah’s callous and
calculated betrayal.
In
an emotional and wide-ranging interview Barbara has given her account
of the dispute, reveals the part Oprah played in ‘destroying’ her
marriage, and gives an excoriating insight into the woman behind the
global brand.
Speaking
exclusively to MailOnline she said, ‘I have lost everything. It’s not
just a house, this is my home. All my memories are here.
‘I’m
trying to keep it together but there are some days I just don’t
understand how I could have made her so angry that she would kick me out
on the street and think nothing about it. But that’s Oprah – she’s judge and jury.’
Evicted: Barbara was first ordered by the court
to vacate her home by March 31. Oprah purchased the house in the name of
her company, Overground Railroad LLC, the plaintiff in the case
A
world away from the inspirational figure beloved by millions, the Oprah
Barbara describes is manipulative and high-handed, treats family like
staff and uses her wealth to control others.
She
claims that Oprah, 60, and longterm partner Stedman Graham, 63, are not
bound by romance but a pragmatic cocktail of shared secrets,
convenience and money.
‘My crime, I think, was to talk to her like a normal person and she didn’t like that one bit' - Barbara Winfrey
She
describes Oprah’s relationship with close confidante Gayle King, 59, as
‘bizarre’ and ‘unhealthy,’ and points to it as the reason that neither
woman is married.
And
at the heart of it all, Barbara claims, the ‘real Oprah’ - hidden
behind the image she projects so well – is a woman unhappy in her skin
and, as Barbara has learned to her cost, unforgiving to those who
inspire her wrath.
Barbara said, ‘You find out quickly where your place is with Oprah and you get in that place and you stay in that place.
‘My crime, I think, was to talk to her like a normal person and she didn’t like that one bit.’
Love-less: 'Love & Blessings' Oprah wrote on
this photograph of her and Barbara taken at the superstar's 50th
birthday party in Chicago in 2004. But Oprah hasn't shown her stepmother
much love in words or deed over the years
Barbara was Vice Principal at Brentwood High School, a respected public school in Nashville, when she first met Vernon Winfrey.
Winfrey’s
barber shop in a rundown area of East Nashville was a local landmark –
it has been there for more than 50 years – and his work as a local
councilman made him a well-known figure in the community.
Barbara
recalled: ‘I used to send difficult students to his shop to work there
at weekends, sweep floors that sort of thing, help them stay out of
trouble.’
Fifteen years after first meeting him, they reconnected and the passing acquaintance became something more.
They
married on 17 June 2000 in a ceremony at Nashville’s Hermitage Hotel.
Looking back, Barbara admitted, ‘I don’t think Oprah really wanted to be
there but she couldn’t not be at such a big event. How would that
look?’
Barbara and Oprah’s first meeting some weeks earlier at the star’s Indiana farm had not been easy.
Video Souce Davidrush.net
Happy days: The red carpet wasn't exactly rolled
out for Barbara and Vernon when they were invited to Oprah's Legends
Ball. They were seat in a back corner of the second floor and were told
not to mingle with the celebrities
Barbara
said, ‘We drove from Nashville to Prairie, Indiana and when you pull up
at her house it’s like pulling up to a castle. But that first night she
didn’t have anything to say to us hardly at all. She wasn’t warm at
all.’
The next morning Barbara got a taste of the sort of balance of power Oprah expected in their relationship.
She
said, ‘Early the next morning she got on the intercom in her house –
she has an intercom in all her houses - and she was calling, ”Barbara,
Barbara come down, we’re going for a walk”.
'Some people can have money and be mentally rich – secure in what they have I guess. But others, how can I put it... some people you can’t take the ghetto out of'
‘Gayle was
there and the way it worked she walked on one side, Oprah on the other
and they peppered me with questions. I felt like I was being
interrogated by the FBI. She had a large farm, about 125 acres. By the
end of the walk I felt we’d covered the whole farm.’
Gayle
did most of the talking that weekend. Oprah, according to Barbara,
largely ignored her and her father – a pattern that would be repeated in
visits and social occasions across the years.
Soon
after their marriage, Vernon sold the house in which he had lived with
his late wife and, thanks to Oprah, Barbara and Vernon got a place of
their own.
Palatial: Despite the numerous rooms in Oprah's
Santa Barbara mansion, Barbara says she and Vernon were never asked to
stay overnight
Barbara
said, ‘It was a new home so we got to choose every part of it. We
signed so many documents, became part of the Housing Association. I was
thankful of course. I never knew it was Oprah’s name on the deeds and
that I was just on probation.’
Instead
with each paper signed the misunderstanding was compounded. Barbara had
no idea that her home was a gift never truly given.
Yet over the years she has come to understand that this is the dynamic on which Oprah’s empire is built.
She
explained, ‘My husband once told me that just because someone gives you
something does not mean they love you. He was talking about Oprah.
‘Her
brand is that she’s a nice, caring, generous, giving person. That’s not
how it is. She’s controlling – it’s all about control.
‘She has confidentiality agreements with pretty much everybody in her life. She has them sign their life away and she has them in her pocket.
Cutting it: Vernon Winfrey has been a barber in
East Nashville for half a century. He is a well-respected member of the
community
‘Everything comes with stipulations but she doesn’t tell you that and she doesn’t tell you what they are.’
According
to Barbara, ‘Some people can have money and be mentally rich – secure
in what they have I guess. But others, how can I put it…some people you
can’t take the ghetto out of.
‘That’s
Oprah, it’s who she is and where she’s from. She had money, everybody
was going to know it and see it. But she had to be in control.’
It would be easy to be seduced by the riches of the world in which Oprah lives.
She
has homes in Santa Barbara, Indiana, Hawaii, the Bahamas and Chicago,
has owned various properties on Fisher Island, Fla and, until recently,
had a home in Aspen.
'She was a horrible decorator. Money cannot buy you taste. She would put plaid with stripes and all sorts'
She
numbered an Aston Martin and Rolls Royce convertible among her many
cars. The 2004 Mercedes that sits in Barbara’s garage is, she said, in
Oprah’s name and the Porsche Cayenne Turbo that 81-year-old Vernon
drives is thanks to his daughter.
But for all her very obvious wealth, Barbara said, with thinly veiled relish, ‘She was a horrible decorator.
‘Money cannot buy you taste. She would put plaid with stripes and all sorts.
In
Indiana she must have had 200 dolls, some of them looked like they
could have gone back to the slave days, lined up on long benches in the
hallway. It was creepy.’
Then: Barbara claims that Oprah refused to give Vernon the money to renovate his run-down barber shop
Barbara
and Vernon visited four of Oprah’s homes but were only ever invited to
stay on Fisher Island and in Indiana. Otherwise, they were put up in
hotels.
And
if Barbara’s mistake was to not show Oprah the deference she expected,
then it is clear the error was matched and returned by the star.
Intentional or not, for Barbara, the slights came thick and fast.
‘She
complained my sheets didn’t have 1000 thread count when she came to
stay and that the bath towels and the coffee cups weren’t big enough,’
she claimed.
When
Oprah threw her Legends’ Ball in Santa Barbara her father and
stepmother were not invited to stay in the house but put up in a nearby
hotel.
When
they were shown to their table it was not on the main floor with the A
listers – John Travolta, Sidney Poitier, Tina Turner, Alicia Keys – but
‘tucked in the corner on the second floor.’
She added, ‘We weren’t allowed to mingle with the celebrities--but we did.’
'Her
brand is that she’s a nice, caring, generous, giving person. That’s not
how it is. She’s controlling – it’s all about control'
And when she and Vernon arrived at Oprah’s Chicago condo on one occasion she recalled,
‘Oprah got on the intercom and announced, “Negroes in the house. Negroes in the house.”
‘She
thought it was funny. I thought it was insulting. I’m older than her. I
know what it means. She was reminding us of our low class.’
According to Barbara, ‘I’ve seen what happens to people when they step out of their place and fall out with Oprah.
‘It
wasn’t unusual over the years for her to fly to her house in Hawaii,
call Gayle and say, “Fire so and so and so and so and so and so.”
‘She
never says a word to that person herself. She never tells the person
why. She never gives the person the chance to defend themselves and all
the “gifts” are snatched back.’
Pausing,
Barbara shook her head: ‘You know I sometimes feel sorry for her
because she’s created this world for herself and really, it’s a mess.
Now: To help her husband fix up his shabby shop,
Barbara says she mortgaged the home she owned outright. Oprah swooped
in and bought that home, leaving her stepmother high and dry
‘I don’t think she has one relationship in her life that you or I would understand.’
Alhough
Oprah has since bought another house for her father, as far as Barbara
was concerned there has always been a distance between Oprah and her
father that neither have ever quite managed to bridge. And, in Barbara’s
view, Oprah has always had a degree of denial over the circumstances of
her childhood and the reality of who she really is.
It has been reported that Vernon is not Oprah’s biological father.
Barbara
said, ‘Vernon wanted to do the DNA test but Oprah said, “No.” I think
she’s afraid because she knows it would prove he IS her father. She
can’t quite believe that such a silly man could make such a magnificent
creature.
‘But
Vernon’s her father all right. They have the same big feet, with the
same callouses underneath; they have the same bags under their eyes and
the same nose. They’re so alike.’
But according to Barbara, ‘Oprah doesn’t want to know the truth of her past, where she’s from.
'Bizarre': When Barbara first met Oprah at her
Prairie, Indiana home, she was given the third degree by Oprah--and
Gayle. Barbara shares her story about their 'bizarre" relationship in
Part 2 of the interview tomorrow
‘She’s a human like anybody else but she spends so much energy hiding the real her.’
It
isn’t difficult to see why Barbara might ultimately conclude that her
company was not something Oprah had any desire to seek out or endure
longer than necessary.
But it wounded her, she said, to see the celebrity snub her own father time after time.
For
Barbara the final straw came with a trip to South Africa in 2005. She
recalled, ‘We were there for some ceremony to do with her school and I
have to say that the chance to meet Nelson Mandela was a highlight of my
life I will never forget.
‘But
in eight days she must have spoken to her father for about five
minutes, and that was in public to make him stand up as the person who
made her who she was.
‘I told Vernon, “That’s it. I’m not travelling 23 hours, half way round the world anymore to be ignored by her. I’m done.”’
It
is clear from Barbara’s recollections that her relationship with Oprah,
which may have started with hopes of familial fondness, deteriorated
into one of strained mutual intolerance.
When
her marriage to Vernon fell apart there was simply no reason to carry
on the façade. Yet, Barbara admitted, she had expected some note of
sympathy given the circumstances of the split.
It
was the revelation of his weeklong ‘affair’ with a prostitute known as
‘One Tooth’ that was the final undoing of his marriage to Barbara.
Unfaithful: Barbara's marriage fell apart when
she discovered Vernon cheated on her with a prostitute named 'One
Tooth.' Even though they're divorced they still speak once a week.
Barbara believes they would have stayed together had Oprah not
intervened
The
woman taped her barbershop liaisons with Winfrey and originally
intended to blackmail him. Instead the truth came tumbling out three
years ago.
Barbara said, ‘Oprah is a woman who empowers women to be all they can be, to stand up against men who mistreat them.
‘If
she was a more decent person she would realize that what her dad did
was very wrong instead of plotting against me and pushing me out of the
scene.’
At
the time Barbara and Vernon were in the midst of rebuilding his
barbershop. After 47 years it was in dire need of renovation, Barbara
explained.
Oprah
refused to help financially. So Barbara, who worked in education for 32
years before retiring in 2006, secured a loan on a home she owned
outright before she married Vernon, as collateral. This was to prove a
crucial and costly decision.
By
her own admission Barbara struggled to cope with Vernon’s infidelity.
She moved out of the marital bedroom but she was not, she insisted,
looking to end her marriage.
She said, ‘I couldn’t be the wife he wanted me to be but I might have gotten over it.’
But
Vernon, she said, was impatient and, frustrated, left the marital home
that summer in a move that, as it turned out, proved final.
At
the same time the couple were struggling to keep up with loan
repayments on Barbar's old house, where her daughter and grandchild were
living. According to Barbara, rather than step in, Oprah advised her
father to let the bank foreclose.
She
explained, ‘She then bought the barbershop and my old house at cut
price. Everyone thought she was swooping in to save the day. But she’d
stood back and let that day happen.’
According
to Barbara, ‘Vernon had been telling everyone he was unhappy with the
marriage. He told Stedman and he told Oprah, so she came up with an
escape plan I guess to get me out of the picture, make all the scandal
of what he’d done go away.
Packing it in: Gathering her belongings in the house she shared with Vernon for 13 years, Barbara isn't sure about her next move
‘Vernon is a weak man. He let the situation run away from him.’
Barbara claimed that Oprah pressed Vernon to resolve the situation and divorce her.
In
June 2012 – on the anniversary of their wedding 12 years earlier -
Barbara was blindsided when Vernon filed for divorce citing her
unreasonable marital conduct.
The court rejected his petition and accepted instead one made in response by Barbara.
She
said, ‘The settlement they offered was the house that I had owned but
lost, the car I’d had since 2004, with 110,000 miles on the clock and I
had to sign a confidentiality agreement.
‘Vernon also asked for a chunk of my pension because he claimed I was the main earner in the household.’
At
the time, Barbara’s daughter and five-year-old grandson were living in
Barbara's old house, which is now owned by Oprah’s company.
When Barbara rejected the settlement, she explains, her daughter and grandson were told to leave the property.
‘That
house lay empty and then it was sold. Tell me, what sort of person does
that? I would have walked away quietly but she put my baby and my
grandbaby out on the street. That made it personal.’
Gathering
her fury Barbara said, ‘Vernon and I were joined by God. Who does she
think she is to interfere in that? Does she think she’s God?’
The
home in which Barbara sits is undeniably impressive. Laurelbrooke is a
gated community of Stepford style perfection, with manicured lawns and
sweeping driveways leading to homes considered modest if they only have
three or four garages.
Defeated: Says Barbara: 'I am 66 years old. My
credit has been ruined by the foreclosure. Oprah may have the right to
do this. But is this the right thing to do?'
Barbara
is aware of how her ‘demands’ might look. Gesturing around the room in
which she sits, with vaulted ceilings and a faux baby grand that she
‘plays’ with the flick of a switch, Barbara admitted, ‘I know people
have read about this and thought, “Who does she think she is? Why should
she get a million dollar home?”
‘But
can you see it’s not about that? It’s about everything that went
before. Look at how she has treated me. I laid my head next to her
father for 14 years and she never thought me worthy of talking to.
‘Look at how she’s behaved. Can you imagine Bill Gates or Warren Buffet behaving like this? So petty and mean spirited?’
Perhaps
it is inevitable that this divorce like so many should bring out the
worst in parties who once attempted to rub along as family.
As
far as Barbara is concerned that is what all this comes down to – not
to one woman’s property or fame but the messy, dismantling of a marriage
in which the frustrations of years are played out in offer and
counteroffer.
She
said, ‘I am 66 years old. My credit was ruined by the foreclosure. Who
is going to rent me a home? I have to leave here on 29 May and I really
don’t know what will come next.’
For
the first time, the shadow of defeat passes across Barbara’s
face,‘Oprah may have the right to do this. But is it the right thing to
do?’
DM
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